Today was an all-around good day. Not one of those days that'll go down in the books as a great day, but one that I know I'll look back on and smile. There was nothing particularly significant about today, but it was a day that just made me so incredibly thankful to be a mom. I know first hand that there are so many women out there that are longing to be mothers. There are those that can't get pregnant, those that can't stay pregnant, and those that have lost little ones too soon.
What a blessing and an honor it is to be a mother. To have someone need you and long to have you carry them when they're too tired to walk, to cut off the crust of their peanut butter and jelly sandwich and pour them yet another glass of juice. The things our children need us to do for them certainly changes throughout the years (and I can only attest to the first four at this point), but I am so grateful that God chose me to be a mom to my two little girls.
Today was a normal day full of the usual squabbles and tantrums and disobedience, but there were little moments that truly caught my attention. Like when Elle couldn't quite get her carseat buckled and became frustrated - I got out and helped her without any big ordeal and she was so grateful for my help... and honestly, I think she was mostly grateful (if not relieved) that I didn't turn it into a big deal where I showed my frustration with her not being able to do it on her own. It made me realize that she's still little and she appreciates my patience with her as much I appreciate her patience with me. What a revelation, right?
Then there was the moment after making dinner, cleaning up the kitchen, picking up the living room, bathing two kids, getting two kids into their pj's and ready for bed, that I heard the dishwasher running. It was a simple, familiar sound, but it made me proud that I had made it through the day and so incredibly thankful that I have been entrusted with a family to care for. Little eyes and ears and hearts are watching me - all the time. How can I expect them to see the beauty and wonder of the world that God created if I don't see those things?
I simply couldn't put Hadleigh down tonight without one last, last, very last kiss and cuddle and "I love you" whispered in her ear.
And I couldn't tuck Elle in tight enough or stop gazing at my precious nephew who was sleeping in my arms. Why? Because children are precious. They are a precious gift from God. And yes, they are messy and loud and disrespectful and funny and silly and all of those things, sometimes all at the same time, but they are beautiful gifts.
So, I want to remember today for its simplicity and sweetness, but mostly for the reminder that life is precious and God is good.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Friday, February 22, 2013
Weekend
I have been looking forward to this day for weeks. I have especially been looking forward to this day since last weekend, when Noah was gone skiing for three days and I had the girls alone. It’s an annual thing. A girls’ weekend. A reunion of sorts. The four of us, friends for over a decade now. We are all mama’s now – one for almost four years and one for only four months. We share a special bond and I am so looking forward to our weekend away at the cottage.
Remember this place? The place Noah found to take his girls last Fall? Yes, I’m now taking my other girls. I am so excited and my soul is in great need of some late night talks, hot tea and warm blankets.
I was up before dawn with Hadleigh this morning and as she drank her bottle and I sipped my black coffee, I was telling her how much I was going to miss her this weekend. And I will. But her and Elle will have a good time hanging out with their dad. I know that well.
As I was going over some instructions with Noah last night and also filling him in on how our day had been and all of the new things Elle has been learning recently, he quietly said “well, I don’t know if our girls will be any smarter when you get back on Sunday, but I think they’ll be alive.” It was a sweet way for him to tell me how grateful he is for all I do and teach our children and also a quiet reminder that he is capable of handling things around here for a few days. Maybe not exactly the way mama does, but that’s the best part, right? A dad and his girls.
So, in a few hours we will load up my car and drive through the sleepy little East Texas towns until we pull off on this dirt road.
I can’t wait.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Half a year
I know we mom's say this all the time, but where does the time go? I read somewhere the other day that as mother's we often feel that the days are long, but the years are short. So true. I cannot believe that Hadleigh is already 6 months old. She is still the sweetest, happiest little thing that ever came into our lives. Her disposition is out of a fairytale book - she is so content to ride along in the car, run errands, play at the park, go for a stroller ride, or spend time just being a baby with her big sister and me.
Sweet Hadleigh Kate, here is what you are up to at 6 months.
You have rolled over TWICE. Yes, only twice. You roll onto your side often and are certainly capable of rolling, you simply seem to not really care to. Your big sister was never a big roller either though, so it must be how you're made.
You started on solids a week ago and so far are fair game for everything you've tried. You certainly prefer vegetables over fruit, but I imagine that's just because they are more bland and not as sweet as the apples and pears you've tried.
You have had and recovered from your first cold and double ear infection. You took your meds like a champ and we go back in next week to have your ears checked to make sure everything is clear. It was sad to listen to you have a hard time breathing, but you handled it well. Dr. Sue keeps reminding me that you will be sick much more often than your older sister was since she is in school and will be bringing a lot of germs home. I know it's the truth and there is little I can do, but I will try my hardest to keep you healthy.
You are officially sitting up! We still have to watch you so you don't dump over onto your sweet little head, but you're doing great! You really enjoy being able to sit up and play with your toys and have become very grabby over the last month. This includes your sister's hair and anything I am ever holding near you, but that's just to be expected I suppose.
As happy and easy-going as you are, you still cry every time someone other than me or Daddy holds you. Your big sister was exactly the same way, so really it's nothing new, but it almost seems like you're worse (...is that even possible?)
You have started to suck your thumb when you're tired and can't reach one of your pacifiers. It is simply the cutest thing I have ever seen. Your dad doesn't think so, but Elle and I definitely encourage it!
Your sleeping habits have gone a little awry lately, but I am hopeful it will be better soon. You usually only take two naps - one in the morning and one after lunch. Both of those are usually around 1.5 - 3 hours long and by 6:00 - 6:30 PM, you're ready for bed. Unfortunately, you have been waking up sometime between 12:00 - 2:00 and are wide awake. You don't usually cry, but you don't seem to put yourself back to sleep either. I have tried letting you "talk it out", but then I am up for hours and you still don't go back to sleep. I usually go in and feed you, which I am sure will come back to haunt me, but what's a mom to do?
You are such a little chunk and weighed almost 17 pounds when we took you to the doctor a couple of weeks ago. Elle was only 19 pounds at a year, so this has been humorous for us! We certainly love all your rolls though! You are also very long, which is opposite of your sister too. We will have to wait and see how you both turn out :)
Sweet Hadleigh, we love you so much and are so thankful that God blessed us with you. You are a very special addition to our family and we could not possibly love you more. Happy half birthday, love.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
These are the days
Today was just one of those days, that at the end of it, while I was putting Hadleigh to sleep, I kind of thought, Wow, what a waste. But after some thought, I realized that really it isn't a waste, it is just another day in the life of a mom with small kids. I spent most of the morning cleaning the house while attempting to keep the two kids entertained and most of the evening trying to cook dinner and keep the two kids entertained. But, in the inbetween moments I also made my baby laugh, played doll house with Elle, watched Hadleigh splash in the tub and swung Elle in the swing. Those are the moments that count. Not the dusting and the dishes, but the smiles and the hugs and the precious moments that are so fleeting.
I am not sure why, but for some reason, my Facebook home page has recently been flooded with so many of my friends "liking" different pages or stories of parents who have lost children. I cannot force myself not to read their stories. The truth is that I am constantly wondering, what if I'm next? What if that story was MY story? But today, in this moment, it isn't my story and for that I am thankful. It certainly has caused me to hug my babies a little tighter and a little longer. God does not promise us a life without heartache and I pray that those parents who have lost their children would find comfort in the only ONE who can truly give it.
This is just a reminder to myself, to the mom who is sitting here with hair that never got blow dried today and who never put on any make-up, or who honestly never got out of her sweat pants, that these are the days that count... these are the days that as long as I spent time with my kids and spoke gentle words to them and hugged them or picked them up when they needed me, these are the best days.
I am not sure why, but for some reason, my Facebook home page has recently been flooded with so many of my friends "liking" different pages or stories of parents who have lost children. I cannot force myself not to read their stories. The truth is that I am constantly wondering, what if I'm next? What if that story was MY story? But today, in this moment, it isn't my story and for that I am thankful. It certainly has caused me to hug my babies a little tighter and a little longer. God does not promise us a life without heartache and I pray that those parents who have lost their children would find comfort in the only ONE who can truly give it.
This is just a reminder to myself, to the mom who is sitting here with hair that never got blow dried today and who never put on any make-up, or who honestly never got out of her sweat pants, that these are the days that count... these are the days that as long as I spent time with my kids and spoke gentle words to them and hugged them or picked them up when they needed me, these are the best days.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
A Week in Pictures
Sweet baby feet.
A Cozy Fire.
Jack and our Snowman Soup
Coffee on the Patio.
It Snowed!
Typical :)
Friday, December 7, 2012
December
December is my absolute favorite month of the year. It makes me feel giddy and happy in a way that no other month can compare. Last December though, was a little rough. Oh, sure, Noah and I took a week-long trip to Italy and had the best time walking the streets of Rome, Florence, Pisa, and Venice. But, we had also lost our sweet baby a few months earlier and my heart was still heavy.
We found out three days before Christmas last year that we were expecting again. I was filled with sheer joy and terror all at the same time. What if we lost this baby too? I remember hearing the words from one of my all-time favorite Christmas songs “…next year our troubles will be out of sight…” and I thought, yes! Next year! Next year we will hopefully have a brand new baby and the troubles of the last year will be out of sight. And thankfully, they are.
We have been enjoying doing special things with Elle each day of December. Our Elf on the Shelf, Jack, has a note for Elle each morning with what that day will entail and he is always hiding around the house in silly places. He gets into quite a lot of mischief! This morning we found him up in the cabinet covered in Dora band-aids :)
We are currently enjoying our Sinatra Christmas records, coffee and apple cider, and a cozy fire. It really isn’t all that cold this morning, but the smell of the holidays in the house requires a blazing fire to go along with it. Noah’s annual puzzle is in full swing and he can be found most nights hunched over the dining room table looking for just the right piece. Thankfully, Hadleigh has been going to bed a lot earlier, usually around 7:30 PM, so I have been able to have some down time too, to relax and read.
We hope you received our Christmas card. We had a fun time taking pictures at the Minneola cottage a few weeks ago.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
A Cottage in the Woods
A few weeks ago, Noah decided that he really needed to get out of the city and drive. As a boy who grew up in a small town, his heart often desires to hit the pavement until it turns into a dirt road. When these times happen, we are often stumped with the question “where do we go?” We knew that we didn’t want to travel far, since we have two little ones and didn’t have a lot of time to be gone. We toyed with the idea of taking the girls camping, but Hadleigh is simply too little for that at this point. So, Noah did a search online and found the perfect spot. It was a small cottage in Minneola and was a short 90 minute drive.
When we pulled off the road onto the dirt path, I sucked in my cheeks and held my breath – it was perfect! Exactly what I had imagined our little cottage in the woods would look like. The newly fallen leaves and old wooden structures throughout the property made it the perfect escape from our ‘city life’.
We had so much fun tromping through the woods with the girls and enjoyed a nice glass (or two) of wine on the outdoor patio once the girls went to bed.
This is the upstairs loft where Elle slept.
Enjoying some hot cocoa.
Noah cooked us bacon and eggs for breakfast and we enjoyed our coffee outdoors. I kept wandering off to look around and truly enjoyed the serenity of the place. We will definitely be going back.
It was pouring down rain when we left - which is just about my most favorite thing in the world. I wished we could have stayed and baked cookies :)
When we pulled off the road onto the dirt path, I sucked in my cheeks and held my breath – it was perfect! Exactly what I had imagined our little cottage in the woods would look like. The newly fallen leaves and old wooden structures throughout the property made it the perfect escape from our ‘city life’.
There were obviously a lot of little knick-knacks throughout the house, but thankfully Elle did great and didn't get into much.
We had so much fun tromping through the woods with the girls and enjoyed a nice glass (or two) of wine on the outdoor patio once the girls went to bed.
This is the upstairs loft where Elle slept.
Enjoying some hot cocoa.
Noah cooked us bacon and eggs for breakfast and we enjoyed our coffee outdoors. I kept wandering off to look around and truly enjoyed the serenity of the place. We will definitely be going back.
It was pouring down rain when we left - which is just about my most favorite thing in the world. I wished we could have stayed and baked cookies :)
Monday, November 19, 2012
3 1/2 & 3 months
Our lives are bustling along as we begin to get into the holiday season. Most mornings are spent huddled near the fire as we drink our coffee and juice with Christmas music playing in the back ground. Fall is by far my favorite season - I just love the cooler weather, the coloring of the trees and the promise of Thanksgiving and Christmas just around the corner.
Elle turned three and a half last week and baby Hadleigh turned three months. Here is what they are up to.
Elle, at three and a half, you are becoming a "little princess" and are really starting to enjoy dressing up and being in your own pretend world. While some of your other girl friends began this phase months ago, it is new to you. You are neither super girly nor tom-boyish, you're somewhere right in the middle.
Despite not being super girly, you have always had a very mothering nature about you, and that has certainly been shown as you became a big sister. You are incredibly tender and gentle with your little sister. I never have to worry about Hadleigh because I know that you are always there to lend a hand if she needs you.
This is your first year of preschool and you absolutely love it. Your teachers Mrs. Miller and Mrs. Mayfield are always bragging on how sweet and smart you are. You love to play with your friends and learn new things and I am thrilled that you enjoy it as much as you do.
You have become a much better sleeper over the last six weeks or so and for that I am thankful. You rarely wake up at night anymore (although your nightlight is still a must) and you usually take a good 1-2 hour nap several times a week. You have been sleeping until 7 or 8 AM, which is helpful since that is usually when your sister gets up.
Your absolute favorite thing to do in the whole entire world, is swing. You could swing for hours and never tire of it.
You still love fruits and vegetables and usually have pasta, chicken nuggets, or peanut butter and jelly with them.
You love to dance to music, jump on your trampoline, do puzzles and watch tv.
Hadleigh, here is what you are up to at three months.
You are back to sleeping 8-10 hours stretches at night and are already on a solid nap schedule. You take three 2-3 hour naps every day and will sometimes snooze a bit in the evenings as well. You have easily fallen into this routine on your own which has been a true blessing.
You are still eating every 2.5 - 3 hours.
You are all smiles and love to kick and flail your arms around. You love to coo, although we have yet to hear a giggle out of you yet. I guess we just aren't that funny.
You are happiest when laying on your back and love to look at lights, fans and any type of shadow.
You are very easy in the car as well, as long as you have your paci. You don't require your paci, but you certainly enjoy it.
You like it when your sister and I read you books and sing to you.
You love bath time and are at the stage where the entire kitchen floor is soaking wet when you're through. It's very cute though and worth the mess!
You are growing so fast and are the sweetest little thing! Since more than likely, you'll be our last baby, I want time to slow down. I enjoy every smile and your baby smell so very much.
We love you sweet girls!
Elle turned three and a half last week and baby Hadleigh turned three months. Here is what they are up to.
Elle, at three and a half, you are becoming a "little princess" and are really starting to enjoy dressing up and being in your own pretend world. While some of your other girl friends began this phase months ago, it is new to you. You are neither super girly nor tom-boyish, you're somewhere right in the middle.
Despite not being super girly, you have always had a very mothering nature about you, and that has certainly been shown as you became a big sister. You are incredibly tender and gentle with your little sister. I never have to worry about Hadleigh because I know that you are always there to lend a hand if she needs you.
This is your first year of preschool and you absolutely love it. Your teachers Mrs. Miller and Mrs. Mayfield are always bragging on how sweet and smart you are. You love to play with your friends and learn new things and I am thrilled that you enjoy it as much as you do.
You have become a much better sleeper over the last six weeks or so and for that I am thankful. You rarely wake up at night anymore (although your nightlight is still a must) and you usually take a good 1-2 hour nap several times a week. You have been sleeping until 7 or 8 AM, which is helpful since that is usually when your sister gets up.
Your absolute favorite thing to do in the whole entire world, is swing. You could swing for hours and never tire of it.
You still love fruits and vegetables and usually have pasta, chicken nuggets, or peanut butter and jelly with them.
You love to dance to music, jump on your trampoline, do puzzles and watch tv.
Hadleigh, here is what you are up to at three months.
You are back to sleeping 8-10 hours stretches at night and are already on a solid nap schedule. You take three 2-3 hour naps every day and will sometimes snooze a bit in the evenings as well. You have easily fallen into this routine on your own which has been a true blessing.
You are still eating every 2.5 - 3 hours.
You are all smiles and love to kick and flail your arms around. You love to coo, although we have yet to hear a giggle out of you yet. I guess we just aren't that funny.
You are happiest when laying on your back and love to look at lights, fans and any type of shadow.
You are very easy in the car as well, as long as you have your paci. You don't require your paci, but you certainly enjoy it.
You like it when your sister and I read you books and sing to you.
You love bath time and are at the stage where the entire kitchen floor is soaking wet when you're through. It's very cute though and worth the mess!
You are growing so fast and are the sweetest little thing! Since more than likely, you'll be our last baby, I want time to slow down. I enjoy every smile and your baby smell so very much.
We love you sweet girls!
Friday, November 9, 2012
Back
Man, I have really missed blogging. Now that I am back, it feels so good and so refreshing! I think I really needed the time off that I took, but I am thankful that the past is behind me, and I am ready to write again.
When I first started blogging and reading other blogs, it was three and a half years ago when I had a new baby at home and none of my close friends had babies yet. Reading blogs by other mama's made me feel normal and made the endless hours of being up with a newborn each night seem a little less daunting. It was so comforting to know that I really wasn't the only one spending every hour of my day with a little one, even if it sometimes felt like it.
Another thing that I am glad to have back is naptime.
In the past, when Elle would lay down for a nap, so would I. But, I am finding on the days that both of my girls are asleep at the same time, that it is much more beneficial for my soul to be up doing something - anything really, other than sleeping. Although I am getting much less sleep each night than I have in the past, it is so relaxing to have some alone time to read, journal, watch a recorded show on the DVR, or simply sit in our front room with a cup of hot coffee and just be.
The time change has really sent our house into a tailspin. We are still trying to recover from it almost a week later. Hadleigh is S L O W L Y sleeping a little more each night, but we have been back to a 6 hour stretch for the past week. Elle woke up two nights ago for the first time in awhile and has been getting up before dawn every morning. We are working on it though and in the meantime, I am still thankful for the few hours of sleep I do get and for a God that somehow rejuvenates me throughout the day.
I'll leave you with a few pictures of my sweets.
When I first started blogging and reading other blogs, it was three and a half years ago when I had a new baby at home and none of my close friends had babies yet. Reading blogs by other mama's made me feel normal and made the endless hours of being up with a newborn each night seem a little less daunting. It was so comforting to know that I really wasn't the only one spending every hour of my day with a little one, even if it sometimes felt like it.
Another thing that I am glad to have back is naptime.
In the past, when Elle would lay down for a nap, so would I. But, I am finding on the days that both of my girls are asleep at the same time, that it is much more beneficial for my soul to be up doing something - anything really, other than sleeping. Although I am getting much less sleep each night than I have in the past, it is so relaxing to have some alone time to read, journal, watch a recorded show on the DVR, or simply sit in our front room with a cup of hot coffee and just be.
The time change has really sent our house into a tailspin. We are still trying to recover from it almost a week later. Hadleigh is S L O W L Y sleeping a little more each night, but we have been back to a 6 hour stretch for the past week. Elle woke up two nights ago for the first time in awhile and has been getting up before dawn every morning. We are working on it though and in the meantime, I am still thankful for the few hours of sleep I do get and for a God that somehow rejuvenates me throughout the day.
I'll leave you with a few pictures of my sweets.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
A note to your 16 year old self
Elle,
My sweet, sweet girl. Where do I begin? As I was tucking you into bed tonight and listening to you giggle as we read "When You Give a Mouse a Cookie" and as you climbed out of bed to draw one last picture on your easle, and your sweet voice pleaded for one more drink of water (drank out of your green swirly straw, of course) before lights out, it dawned on me for the millionth time since you were first placed in my arms, that time is flying by.
You are my heart.
As I laid down next to you in your bed tonight and rubbed your feet as you requested, you struggled to keep your eyes open, but they closed in protest anyway. In the glow of your nightlight, I saw you as a sixteen year old girl and imagined what our life will be like in a few short years.
You will still be my heart.
Maybe you won't feel it and maybe you'll think I am only out to hurt you or ruin your fun and that I have no idea what it's like to be you. But I will and I do.
You will always be my heart.
As a three year old, you are sensitive and shy, funny and wonderfully smart. You are caring and spunky, beautiful and creative. You love to sing, dance, pretend and read. Your imagination is vibrant and your personality, colorful.
Being near you brings me the greatest joy that my heart has ever known. Your inquisitive mind and big gray eyes are truly something to behold. Your sweet voice is music to my ears. I will love you with all of my heart for the rest of my life.
I love you.
Mommy
My sweet, sweet girl. Where do I begin? As I was tucking you into bed tonight and listening to you giggle as we read "When You Give a Mouse a Cookie" and as you climbed out of bed to draw one last picture on your easle, and your sweet voice pleaded for one more drink of water (drank out of your green swirly straw, of course) before lights out, it dawned on me for the millionth time since you were first placed in my arms, that time is flying by.
You are my heart.
As I laid down next to you in your bed tonight and rubbed your feet as you requested, you struggled to keep your eyes open, but they closed in protest anyway. In the glow of your nightlight, I saw you as a sixteen year old girl and imagined what our life will be like in a few short years.
You will still be my heart.
Maybe you won't feel it and maybe you'll think I am only out to hurt you or ruin your fun and that I have no idea what it's like to be you. But I will and I do.
You will always be my heart.
As a three year old, you are sensitive and shy, funny and wonderfully smart. You are caring and spunky, beautiful and creative. You love to sing, dance, pretend and read. Your imagination is vibrant and your personality, colorful.
Being near you brings me the greatest joy that my heart has ever known. Your inquisitive mind and big gray eyes are truly something to behold. Your sweet voice is music to my ears. I will love you with all of my heart for the rest of my life.
I love you.
Mommy
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