7.19.13

Today was an all-around good day. Not one of those days that'll go down in the books as a great day, but one that I know I'll look back on and smile.  There was nothing particularly significant about today, but it was a day that just made me so incredibly thankful to be a mom. I know first hand that there are so many women out there that are longing to be mothers.  There are those that can't get pregnant, those that can't stay pregnant, and those that have lost little ones too soon. 

What a blessing and an honor it is to be a mother.  To have someone need you and long to have you carry them when they're too tired to walk, to cut off the crust of their peanut butter and jelly sandwich and pour them yet another glass of juice. The things our children need us to do for them certainly changes throughout the years (and I can only attest to the first four at this point), but I am so grateful that God chose me to be a mom to my two little girls.

Today was a normal day full of the usual squabbles and tantrums and disobedience, but there were little moments that truly caught my attention.  Like when Elle couldn't quite get her carseat buckled and became frustrated - I got out and helped her without any big ordeal and she was so grateful for my help... and honestly, I think she was mostly grateful (if not relieved) that I didn't turn it into a big deal where I showed my frustration with her not being able to do it on her own. It made me realize that she's still little and she appreciates my patience with her as much I appreciate her patience with me.  What a revelation, right?

Then there was the moment after making dinner, cleaning up the kitchen, picking up the living room, bathing two kids, getting two kids into their pj's and ready for bed, that I heard the dishwasher running.  It was a simple, familiar sound, but it made me proud that I had made it through the day and so incredibly thankful that I have been entrusted with a family to care for.  Little eyes and ears and hearts are watching me - all the time.  How can I expect them to see the beauty and wonder of the world that God created if I don't see those things?

I simply couldn't put Hadleigh down tonight without one last, last, very last kiss and cuddle and "I love you" whispered in her ear.  

And I couldn't tuck Elle in tight enough or stop gazing at my precious nephew who was sleeping in my arms.  Why?  Because children are precious. They are a precious gift from God.  And yes, they are messy and loud and disrespectful and funny and silly and all of those things, sometimes all at the same time, but they are beautiful gifts. 

So, I want to remember today for its simplicity and sweetness, but mostly for the reminder that life is precious and God is good.

Weekend

I have been looking forward to this day for weeks. I have especially been looking forward to this day since last weekend, when Noah was gone skiing for three days and I had the girls alone. It’s an annual thing. A girls’ weekend. A reunion of sorts. The four of us, friends for over a decade now. We are all mama’s now – one for almost four years and one for only four months. We share a special bond and I am so looking forward to our weekend away at the cottage.

Remember this place? The place Noah found to take his girls last Fall? Yes, I’m now taking my other girls. I am so excited and my soul is in great need of some late night talks, hot tea and warm blankets.

I was up before dawn with Hadleigh this morning and as she drank her bottle and I sipped my black coffee, I was telling her how much I was going to miss her this weekend. And I will. But her and Elle will have a good time hanging out with their dad. I know that well.

As I was going over some instructions with Noah last night and also filling him in on how our day had been and all of the new things Elle has been learning recently, he quietly said “well, I don’t know if our girls will be any smarter when you get back on Sunday, but I think they’ll be alive.” It was a sweet way for him to tell me how grateful he is for all I do and teach our children and also a quiet reminder that he is capable of handling things around here for a few days. Maybe not exactly the way mama does, but that’s the best part, right? A dad and his girls.

So, in a few hours we will load up my car and drive through the sleepy little East Texas towns until we pull off on this dirt road.

I can’t wait.

Half a year

I know we mom's say this all the time, but where does the time go?  I read somewhere the other day that as mother's we often feel that the days are long, but the years are short.  So true.  I cannot believe that Hadleigh is already 6 months old.  She is still the sweetest, happiest little thing that ever came into our lives.  Her disposition is out of a fairytale book - she is so content to ride along in the car, run errands, play at the park, go for a stroller ride, or spend time just being a baby with her big sister and me. 

Sweet Hadleigh Kate, here is what you are up to at 6 months.

You have rolled over TWICE.  Yes, only twice.  You roll onto your side often and are certainly capable of rolling, you simply seem to not really care to.  Your big sister was never a big roller either though, so it must be how you're made.

You started on solids a week ago and so far are fair game for everything you've tried.  You certainly prefer vegetables over fruit, but I imagine that's just because they are more bland and not as sweet as the apples and pears you've tried. 

You have had and recovered from your first cold and double ear infection.  You took your meds like a champ and we go back in next week to have your ears checked to make sure everything is clear.  It was sad to listen to you have a hard time breathing, but you handled it well.  Dr. Sue keeps reminding me that you will be sick much more often than your older sister was since she is in school and will be bringing a lot of germs home.  I know it's the truth and there is little I can do, but I will try my hardest to keep you healthy. 

You are officially sitting up!  We still have to watch you so you don't dump over onto your sweet little head, but you're doing great!  You really enjoy being able to sit up and play with your toys and have become very grabby over the last month.  This includes your sister's hair and anything I am ever holding near you, but that's just to be expected I suppose.

You love to talk and coo and laugh.  I know it's way too early to officially say this, but seriously, when we say 'hi' to you, you often say 'hi' back.  I haven't written this down in your baby book of course, but we still swear you say it :)

As happy and easy-going as you are, you still cry every time someone other than me or Daddy holds you.  Your big sister was exactly the same way, so really it's nothing new, but it almost seems like you're worse (...is that even possible?)

You have started to suck your thumb when you're tired and can't reach one of your pacifiers.  It is simply the cutest thing I have ever seen.  Your dad doesn't think so, but Elle and I definitely encourage it!

Your sleeping habits have gone a little awry lately, but I am hopeful it will be better soon.  You usually only take two naps - one in the morning and one after lunch.  Both of those are usually around 1.5 - 3 hours long and by 6:00 - 6:30 PM, you're ready for bed.  Unfortunately, you have been waking up sometime between 12:00 - 2:00 and are wide awake.  You don't usually cry, but you don't seem to put yourself back to sleep either.  I have tried letting you "talk it out", but then I am up for hours and you still don't go back to sleep.  I usually go in and feed you, which I am sure will come back to haunt me, but what's a mom to do? 

You are such a little chunk and weighed almost 17 pounds when we took you to the doctor a couple of weeks ago.  Elle was only 19 pounds at a year, so this has been humorous for us!  We certainly love all your rolls though!  You are also very long, which is opposite of your sister too.  We will have to wait and see how you both turn out :)

 Sweet Hadleigh, we love you so much and are so thankful that God blessed us with you.  You are a very special addition to our family and we could not possibly love you more.  Happy half birthday, love.

These are the days

Today was just one of those days, that at the end of it, while I was putting Hadleigh to sleep, I kind of thought, Wow, what a waste.  But after some thought, I realized that really it isn't a waste, it is just another day in the life of a mom with small kids.  I spent most of the morning cleaning the house while attempting to keep the two kids entertained and most of the evening trying to cook dinner and keep the two kids entertained.  But, in the inbetween moments I also made my baby laugh, played doll house with Elle, watched Hadleigh splash in the tub and swung Elle in the swing.  Those are the moments that count.  Not the dusting and the dishes, but the smiles and the hugs and the precious moments that are so fleeting.

I am not sure why, but for some reason, my Facebook home page has recently been flooded with so many of my friends "liking" different pages or stories of parents who have lost children.  I cannot force myself not to read their stories.  The truth is that I am constantly wondering, what if I'm next?  What if that story was MY story?  But today, in this moment, it isn't my story and for that I am thankful.  It certainly has caused me to hug my babies a little tighter and a little longer.  God does not promise us a life without heartache and I pray that those parents who have lost their children would find comfort in the only ONE who can truly give it.

This is just a reminder to myself, to the mom who is sitting here with hair that never got blow dried today and who never put on any make-up, or who honestly never got out of her sweat pants, that these are the days that count... these are the days that as long as I spent time with my kids and spoke gentle words to them and hugged them or picked them up when they needed me, these are the best days.