Today was just one of those days, that at the end of it, while I was putting Hadleigh to sleep, I kind of thought, Wow, what a waste. But after some thought, I realized that really it isn't a waste, it is just another day in the life of a mom with small kids. I spent most of the morning cleaning the house while attempting to keep the two kids entertained and most of the evening trying to cook dinner and keep the two kids entertained. But, in the inbetween moments I also made my baby laugh, played doll house with Elle, watched Hadleigh splash in the tub and swung Elle in the swing. Those are the moments that count. Not the dusting and the dishes, but the smiles and the hugs and the precious moments that are so fleeting.
I am not sure why, but for some reason, my Facebook home page has recently been flooded with so many of my friends "liking" different pages or stories of parents who have lost children. I cannot force myself not to read their stories. The truth is that I am constantly wondering, what if I'm next? What if that story was MY story? But today, in this moment, it isn't my story and for that I am thankful. It certainly has caused me to hug my babies a little tighter and a little longer. God does not promise us a life without heartache and I pray that those parents who have lost their children would find comfort in the only ONE who can truly give it.
This is just a reminder to myself, to the mom who is sitting here with hair that never got blow dried today and who never put on any make-up, or who honestly never got out of her sweat pants, that these are the days that count... these are the days that as long as I spent time with my kids and spoke gentle words to them and hugged them or picked them up when they needed me, these are the best days.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
A Week in Pictures
Sweet baby feet.
A Cozy Fire.
Jack and our Snowman Soup
Coffee on the Patio.
It Snowed!
Typical :)
Friday, December 7, 2012
December
December is my absolute favorite month of the year. It makes me feel giddy and happy in a way that no other month can compare. Last December though, was a little rough. Oh, sure, Noah and I took a week-long trip to Italy and had the best time walking the streets of Rome, Florence, Pisa, and Venice. But, we had also lost our sweet baby a few months earlier and my heart was still heavy.
We found out three days before Christmas last year that we were expecting again. I was filled with sheer joy and terror all at the same time. What if we lost this baby too? I remember hearing the words from one of my all-time favorite Christmas songs “…next year our troubles will be out of sight…” and I thought, yes! Next year! Next year we will hopefully have a brand new baby and the troubles of the last year will be out of sight. And thankfully, they are.
We have been enjoying doing special things with Elle each day of December. Our Elf on the Shelf, Jack, has a note for Elle each morning with what that day will entail and he is always hiding around the house in silly places. He gets into quite a lot of mischief! This morning we found him up in the cabinet covered in Dora band-aids :)
We are currently enjoying our Sinatra Christmas records, coffee and apple cider, and a cozy fire. It really isn’t all that cold this morning, but the smell of the holidays in the house requires a blazing fire to go along with it. Noah’s annual puzzle is in full swing and he can be found most nights hunched over the dining room table looking for just the right piece. Thankfully, Hadleigh has been going to bed a lot earlier, usually around 7:30 PM, so I have been able to have some down time too, to relax and read.
We hope you received our Christmas card. We had a fun time taking pictures at the Minneola cottage a few weeks ago.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
A Cottage in the Woods
A few weeks ago, Noah decided that he really needed to get out of the city and drive. As a boy who grew up in a small town, his heart often desires to hit the pavement until it turns into a dirt road. When these times happen, we are often stumped with the question “where do we go?” We knew that we didn’t want to travel far, since we have two little ones and didn’t have a lot of time to be gone. We toyed with the idea of taking the girls camping, but Hadleigh is simply too little for that at this point. So, Noah did a search online and found the perfect spot. It was a small cottage in Minneola and was a short 90 minute drive.
When we pulled off the road onto the dirt path, I sucked in my cheeks and held my breath – it was perfect! Exactly what I had imagined our little cottage in the woods would look like. The newly fallen leaves and old wooden structures throughout the property made it the perfect escape from our ‘city life’.
We had so much fun tromping through the woods with the girls and enjoyed a nice glass (or two) of wine on the outdoor patio once the girls went to bed.
This is the upstairs loft where Elle slept.
Enjoying some hot cocoa.
Noah cooked us bacon and eggs for breakfast and we enjoyed our coffee outdoors. I kept wandering off to look around and truly enjoyed the serenity of the place. We will definitely be going back.
It was pouring down rain when we left - which is just about my most favorite thing in the world. I wished we could have stayed and baked cookies :)
When we pulled off the road onto the dirt path, I sucked in my cheeks and held my breath – it was perfect! Exactly what I had imagined our little cottage in the woods would look like. The newly fallen leaves and old wooden structures throughout the property made it the perfect escape from our ‘city life’.
There were obviously a lot of little knick-knacks throughout the house, but thankfully Elle did great and didn't get into much.
We had so much fun tromping through the woods with the girls and enjoyed a nice glass (or two) of wine on the outdoor patio once the girls went to bed.
This is the upstairs loft where Elle slept.
Enjoying some hot cocoa.
Noah cooked us bacon and eggs for breakfast and we enjoyed our coffee outdoors. I kept wandering off to look around and truly enjoyed the serenity of the place. We will definitely be going back.
It was pouring down rain when we left - which is just about my most favorite thing in the world. I wished we could have stayed and baked cookies :)
Monday, November 19, 2012
3 1/2 & 3 months
Our lives are bustling along as we begin to get into the holiday season. Most mornings are spent huddled near the fire as we drink our coffee and juice with Christmas music playing in the back ground. Fall is by far my favorite season - I just love the cooler weather, the coloring of the trees and the promise of Thanksgiving and Christmas just around the corner.
Elle turned three and a half last week and baby Hadleigh turned three months. Here is what they are up to.
Elle, at three and a half, you are becoming a "little princess" and are really starting to enjoy dressing up and being in your own pretend world. While some of your other girl friends began this phase months ago, it is new to you. You are neither super girly nor tom-boyish, you're somewhere right in the middle.
Despite not being super girly, you have always had a very mothering nature about you, and that has certainly been shown as you became a big sister. You are incredibly tender and gentle with your little sister. I never have to worry about Hadleigh because I know that you are always there to lend a hand if she needs you.
This is your first year of preschool and you absolutely love it. Your teachers Mrs. Miller and Mrs. Mayfield are always bragging on how sweet and smart you are. You love to play with your friends and learn new things and I am thrilled that you enjoy it as much as you do.
You have become a much better sleeper over the last six weeks or so and for that I am thankful. You rarely wake up at night anymore (although your nightlight is still a must) and you usually take a good 1-2 hour nap several times a week. You have been sleeping until 7 or 8 AM, which is helpful since that is usually when your sister gets up.
Your absolute favorite thing to do in the whole entire world, is swing. You could swing for hours and never tire of it.
You still love fruits and vegetables and usually have pasta, chicken nuggets, or peanut butter and jelly with them.
You love to dance to music, jump on your trampoline, do puzzles and watch tv.
Hadleigh, here is what you are up to at three months.
You are back to sleeping 8-10 hours stretches at night and are already on a solid nap schedule. You take three 2-3 hour naps every day and will sometimes snooze a bit in the evenings as well. You have easily fallen into this routine on your own which has been a true blessing.
You are still eating every 2.5 - 3 hours.
You are all smiles and love to kick and flail your arms around. You love to coo, although we have yet to hear a giggle out of you yet. I guess we just aren't that funny.
You are happiest when laying on your back and love to look at lights, fans and any type of shadow.
You are very easy in the car as well, as long as you have your paci. You don't require your paci, but you certainly enjoy it.
You like it when your sister and I read you books and sing to you.
You love bath time and are at the stage where the entire kitchen floor is soaking wet when you're through. It's very cute though and worth the mess!
You are growing so fast and are the sweetest little thing! Since more than likely, you'll be our last baby, I want time to slow down. I enjoy every smile and your baby smell so very much.
We love you sweet girls!
Elle turned three and a half last week and baby Hadleigh turned three months. Here is what they are up to.
Elle, at three and a half, you are becoming a "little princess" and are really starting to enjoy dressing up and being in your own pretend world. While some of your other girl friends began this phase months ago, it is new to you. You are neither super girly nor tom-boyish, you're somewhere right in the middle.
Despite not being super girly, you have always had a very mothering nature about you, and that has certainly been shown as you became a big sister. You are incredibly tender and gentle with your little sister. I never have to worry about Hadleigh because I know that you are always there to lend a hand if she needs you.
This is your first year of preschool and you absolutely love it. Your teachers Mrs. Miller and Mrs. Mayfield are always bragging on how sweet and smart you are. You love to play with your friends and learn new things and I am thrilled that you enjoy it as much as you do.
You have become a much better sleeper over the last six weeks or so and for that I am thankful. You rarely wake up at night anymore (although your nightlight is still a must) and you usually take a good 1-2 hour nap several times a week. You have been sleeping until 7 or 8 AM, which is helpful since that is usually when your sister gets up.
Your absolute favorite thing to do in the whole entire world, is swing. You could swing for hours and never tire of it.
You still love fruits and vegetables and usually have pasta, chicken nuggets, or peanut butter and jelly with them.
You love to dance to music, jump on your trampoline, do puzzles and watch tv.
Hadleigh, here is what you are up to at three months.
You are back to sleeping 8-10 hours stretches at night and are already on a solid nap schedule. You take three 2-3 hour naps every day and will sometimes snooze a bit in the evenings as well. You have easily fallen into this routine on your own which has been a true blessing.
You are still eating every 2.5 - 3 hours.
You are all smiles and love to kick and flail your arms around. You love to coo, although we have yet to hear a giggle out of you yet. I guess we just aren't that funny.
You are happiest when laying on your back and love to look at lights, fans and any type of shadow.
You are very easy in the car as well, as long as you have your paci. You don't require your paci, but you certainly enjoy it.
You like it when your sister and I read you books and sing to you.
You love bath time and are at the stage where the entire kitchen floor is soaking wet when you're through. It's very cute though and worth the mess!
You are growing so fast and are the sweetest little thing! Since more than likely, you'll be our last baby, I want time to slow down. I enjoy every smile and your baby smell so very much.
We love you sweet girls!
Friday, November 9, 2012
Back
Man, I have really missed blogging. Now that I am back, it feels so good and so refreshing! I think I really needed the time off that I took, but I am thankful that the past is behind me, and I am ready to write again.
When I first started blogging and reading other blogs, it was three and a half years ago when I had a new baby at home and none of my close friends had babies yet. Reading blogs by other mama's made me feel normal and made the endless hours of being up with a newborn each night seem a little less daunting. It was so comforting to know that I really wasn't the only one spending every hour of my day with a little one, even if it sometimes felt like it.
Another thing that I am glad to have back is naptime.
In the past, when Elle would lay down for a nap, so would I. But, I am finding on the days that both of my girls are asleep at the same time, that it is much more beneficial for my soul to be up doing something - anything really, other than sleeping. Although I am getting much less sleep each night than I have in the past, it is so relaxing to have some alone time to read, journal, watch a recorded show on the DVR, or simply sit in our front room with a cup of hot coffee and just be.
The time change has really sent our house into a tailspin. We are still trying to recover from it almost a week later. Hadleigh is S L O W L Y sleeping a little more each night, but we have been back to a 6 hour stretch for the past week. Elle woke up two nights ago for the first time in awhile and has been getting up before dawn every morning. We are working on it though and in the meantime, I am still thankful for the few hours of sleep I do get and for a God that somehow rejuvenates me throughout the day.
I'll leave you with a few pictures of my sweets.
When I first started blogging and reading other blogs, it was three and a half years ago when I had a new baby at home and none of my close friends had babies yet. Reading blogs by other mama's made me feel normal and made the endless hours of being up with a newborn each night seem a little less daunting. It was so comforting to know that I really wasn't the only one spending every hour of my day with a little one, even if it sometimes felt like it.
Another thing that I am glad to have back is naptime.
In the past, when Elle would lay down for a nap, so would I. But, I am finding on the days that both of my girls are asleep at the same time, that it is much more beneficial for my soul to be up doing something - anything really, other than sleeping. Although I am getting much less sleep each night than I have in the past, it is so relaxing to have some alone time to read, journal, watch a recorded show on the DVR, or simply sit in our front room with a cup of hot coffee and just be.
The time change has really sent our house into a tailspin. We are still trying to recover from it almost a week later. Hadleigh is S L O W L Y sleeping a little more each night, but we have been back to a 6 hour stretch for the past week. Elle woke up two nights ago for the first time in awhile and has been getting up before dawn every morning. We are working on it though and in the meantime, I am still thankful for the few hours of sleep I do get and for a God that somehow rejuvenates me throughout the day.
I'll leave you with a few pictures of my sweets.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
A note to your 16 year old self
Elle,
My sweet, sweet girl. Where do I begin? As I was tucking you into bed tonight and listening to you giggle as we read "When You Give a Mouse a Cookie" and as you climbed out of bed to draw one last picture on your easle, and your sweet voice pleaded for one more drink of water (drank out of your green swirly straw, of course) before lights out, it dawned on me for the millionth time since you were first placed in my arms, that time is flying by.
You are my heart.
As I laid down next to you in your bed tonight and rubbed your feet as you requested, you struggled to keep your eyes open, but they closed in protest anyway. In the glow of your nightlight, I saw you as a sixteen year old girl and imagined what our life will be like in a few short years.
You will still be my heart.
Maybe you won't feel it and maybe you'll think I am only out to hurt you or ruin your fun and that I have no idea what it's like to be you. But I will and I do.
You will always be my heart.
As a three year old, you are sensitive and shy, funny and wonderfully smart. You are caring and spunky, beautiful and creative. You love to sing, dance, pretend and read. Your imagination is vibrant and your personality, colorful.
Being near you brings me the greatest joy that my heart has ever known. Your inquisitive mind and big gray eyes are truly something to behold. Your sweet voice is music to my ears. I will love you with all of my heart for the rest of my life.
I love you.
Mommy
My sweet, sweet girl. Where do I begin? As I was tucking you into bed tonight and listening to you giggle as we read "When You Give a Mouse a Cookie" and as you climbed out of bed to draw one last picture on your easle, and your sweet voice pleaded for one more drink of water (drank out of your green swirly straw, of course) before lights out, it dawned on me for the millionth time since you were first placed in my arms, that time is flying by.
You are my heart.
As I laid down next to you in your bed tonight and rubbed your feet as you requested, you struggled to keep your eyes open, but they closed in protest anyway. In the glow of your nightlight, I saw you as a sixteen year old girl and imagined what our life will be like in a few short years.
You will still be my heart.
Maybe you won't feel it and maybe you'll think I am only out to hurt you or ruin your fun and that I have no idea what it's like to be you. But I will and I do.
You will always be my heart.
As a three year old, you are sensitive and shy, funny and wonderfully smart. You are caring and spunky, beautiful and creative. You love to sing, dance, pretend and read. Your imagination is vibrant and your personality, colorful.
Being near you brings me the greatest joy that my heart has ever known. Your inquisitive mind and big gray eyes are truly something to behold. Your sweet voice is music to my ears. I will love you with all of my heart for the rest of my life.
I love you.
Mommy
Saturday, November 3, 2012
THANKFUL
Since it would be rude to do so on Facebook, can I just rant for one minute about how much I dislike/dread everyone's THANKFULNESS posts every November? I mean, I know that people have the best intentions and of course it's wonderful that they are THANKFUL, but seriously, having to read through everyone's posts every SINGLE day for 30 DAYS, is exhausting!!! We know, you're THANKFUL for your KIDS and your HUSBAND and your HOUSE and so on and so forth. Keep a journal.
OK, there. THANKFUL that I could get that out.
On a much less RUDE note, your prayers that my kids will sleep has seriously been working MIRACLES. Elle has only woken up ONCE in the middle of the night in the past two weeks and Hadleigh slept for 9.5 hours last night. HALLELUJAH!
Noah had to work his monthly SATURDAY today, so the girl's and I have just been trying to stay busy around the house in his absence. Thankfully, Hadleigh is such an easy baby and naps like a champ, so that gives Elle and I some time alone during most of the morning. I can enjoy a (few) cups of coffee and we can play outside while the weather is still cool. The girl LOVES to swing, so we usually spend quite a bit of time doing that as well.
Heather and Drew are in town, so we will be heading out to Carol's house when Noah gets off work to celebrate an early CHRISTMAS with them. I have really been trying to get in the HOLIDAY spirit, but since it is still 80 degress outside, it has been difficult to really get in the mood.
I will try to remember to bring my camera out to Carol's tonight and will post some pictures, since technically, it will be BABY'S FIRST CHRISTMAS!
(Did me writing in CAPS make any of you want to RANT!!?)
OK, there. THANKFUL that I could get that out.
On a much less RUDE note, your prayers that my kids will sleep has seriously been working MIRACLES. Elle has only woken up ONCE in the middle of the night in the past two weeks and Hadleigh slept for 9.5 hours last night. HALLELUJAH!
Noah had to work his monthly SATURDAY today, so the girl's and I have just been trying to stay busy around the house in his absence. Thankfully, Hadleigh is such an easy baby and naps like a champ, so that gives Elle and I some time alone during most of the morning. I can enjoy a (few) cups of coffee and we can play outside while the weather is still cool. The girl LOVES to swing, so we usually spend quite a bit of time doing that as well.
Heather and Drew are in town, so we will be heading out to Carol's house when Noah gets off work to celebrate an early CHRISTMAS with them. I have really been trying to get in the HOLIDAY spirit, but since it is still 80 degress outside, it has been difficult to really get in the mood.
I will try to remember to bring my camera out to Carol's tonight and will post some pictures, since technically, it will be BABY'S FIRST CHRISTMAS!
(Did me writing in CAPS make any of you want to RANT!!?)
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Halloween 2012
I hope you noticed that I did at least update my blog picture, even though it is totally off center and is driving me nuts. I have been trying to figure out how to fix it for at least 15 minutes, which is truly a waste of my time at this point, so I've decided to leave it alone and tackle that project another day.
Sweet Hadleigh is sleeping and Elle is watching Alice in Wonderland while eating a piece of her Halloween candy from last night. I'm on my third cup of coffee, so I can't really admonish Elle for having candy this early in the morning - haha!
Hadleigh has slept for 8 hours straight the last three nights, which has been great! I truly prepared myself for (another) baby that didn't sleep more than a couple hours at a time for at least the first six months, since that's how Elle was, but it has been such a welcomed blessing that Hadleigh SLEEPS! Thank you, Lord! She truly is the absolute sweetest baby and has the best disposition. I am so thankful to have two of the sweetest little girls.
I must admit that I read back over a few of my last blog posts and the one about my miscarriage made me tear up - just remembering the pain and loss was very hard. It also made me incredibly sad that I did not blog for almost a year. I really have missed so much of Elle going from two to three. It has been such a fun age and I'm sad that I didn't write a lot of it down. I have at least written some of her big "accomplishments" down in her baby book, like counting to 10 for the first time, saying her first Bible verse, saying the ABC's, and learning to write her name.
On a happy note, here are a few pictures from our play group Halloween party last week and a few of the girls going trick-or-treating. Elle loved going up to the door to request candy and it was a beautiful night to be out.
Sweet Hadleigh is sleeping and Elle is watching Alice in Wonderland while eating a piece of her Halloween candy from last night. I'm on my third cup of coffee, so I can't really admonish Elle for having candy this early in the morning - haha!
Hadleigh has slept for 8 hours straight the last three nights, which has been great! I truly prepared myself for (another) baby that didn't sleep more than a couple hours at a time for at least the first six months, since that's how Elle was, but it has been such a welcomed blessing that Hadleigh SLEEPS! Thank you, Lord! She truly is the absolute sweetest baby and has the best disposition. I am so thankful to have two of the sweetest little girls.
I must admit that I read back over a few of my last blog posts and the one about my miscarriage made me tear up - just remembering the pain and loss was very hard. It also made me incredibly sad that I did not blog for almost a year. I really have missed so much of Elle going from two to three. It has been such a fun age and I'm sad that I didn't write a lot of it down. I have at least written some of her big "accomplishments" down in her baby book, like counting to 10 for the first time, saying her first Bible verse, saying the ABC's, and learning to write her name.
On a happy note, here are a few pictures from our play group Halloween party last week and a few of the girls going trick-or-treating. Elle loved going up to the door to request candy and it was a beautiful night to be out.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
9 Weeks
So, I know that since it's been awhile since I've blogged that I need to update all the pictures and such on here, but the truth is, I know it's going to take me awhile, so I'll just add that to the long list of other things I need to do.
Elle goes to preschool on Tuesday's, so I've decided that will be the day each week that I will try to find a few minutes to update my blog. I have been bad about writing in Hadleigh's baby book already, so I really do need to record some of her "accomplishments" here!
Hadleigh is 9 weeks old.
I think she has finally hit the alert/awake stage. For the first two months, she was really a very calm, quiet baby and still slept most of the day/night. She is still a very mellow baby, but isn't quite as easy to get to nap and doesn't want to sit still for too long.
She is still sleeping in the pack n play in our room - I swore our next baby wouldn't be in our room for very long, but at this point she still is. She usually goes to bed around the time that Noah and I do, which is between 10-11 PM and she will do one long stretch that ranges from 5-7 hours. After that she is usually up every 2-3 hours.
She is really starting to work on holding her head up, but isn't quite there yet. I must say, that is one milestone I am ready to get to. I think it will make things so much easier, because right now it pretty much requires two hands to hold her, which isn't a luxury that's easy to come by with Elle around.
She has started smiling so much more this week and it is so precious. She especially loves it when Elle talks to her (which also means she is right up in her face). She is starting to coo a little more too and we are anxiously awaiting that first little giggle.
She is in size 1 diapers, size 0-3 month clothing, and weighed 10 lbs 13 oz and was 23" at her 2 month appointment last week. She had to have three shots and was definitely not feeling well after having them. She never did run a fever though, so we were thankful for that. She was back to her happy self by the next morning.
She is still the absolute light of Elle's life. She is the sweetest, most attentive big sister. If she hears Hadleigh start to fuss, she will immediately go over to her and either give her her paci or find a toy for her. It warms my heart!
I will upload picture soon!
Elle goes to preschool on Tuesday's, so I've decided that will be the day each week that I will try to find a few minutes to update my blog. I have been bad about writing in Hadleigh's baby book already, so I really do need to record some of her "accomplishments" here!
Hadleigh is 9 weeks old.
I think she has finally hit the alert/awake stage. For the first two months, she was really a very calm, quiet baby and still slept most of the day/night. She is still a very mellow baby, but isn't quite as easy to get to nap and doesn't want to sit still for too long.
She is still sleeping in the pack n play in our room - I swore our next baby wouldn't be in our room for very long, but at this point she still is. She usually goes to bed around the time that Noah and I do, which is between 10-11 PM and she will do one long stretch that ranges from 5-7 hours. After that she is usually up every 2-3 hours.
She is really starting to work on holding her head up, but isn't quite there yet. I must say, that is one milestone I am ready to get to. I think it will make things so much easier, because right now it pretty much requires two hands to hold her, which isn't a luxury that's easy to come by with Elle around.
She has started smiling so much more this week and it is so precious. She especially loves it when Elle talks to her (which also means she is right up in her face). She is starting to coo a little more too and we are anxiously awaiting that first little giggle.
She is in size 1 diapers, size 0-3 month clothing, and weighed 10 lbs 13 oz and was 23" at her 2 month appointment last week. She had to have three shots and was definitely not feeling well after having them. She never did run a fever though, so we were thankful for that. She was back to her happy self by the next morning.
She is still the absolute light of Elle's life. She is the sweetest, most attentive big sister. If she hears Hadleigh start to fuss, she will immediately go over to her and either give her her paci or find a toy for her. It warms my heart!
I will upload picture soon!
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