A note to your 16 year old self

Elle,

My sweet, sweet girl.  Where do I begin?  As I was tucking you into bed tonight and listening to you giggle as we read "When You Give a Mouse a Cookie" and as you climbed out of bed to draw one last picture on your easle, and your sweet voice pleaded for one more drink of water (drank out of your green swirly straw, of course) before lights out, it dawned on me for the millionth time since you were first placed in my arms, that time is flying by.

You are my heart.

As I laid down next to you in your bed tonight and rubbed your feet as you requested, you struggled to keep your eyes open, but they closed in protest anyway.  In the glow of your nightlight, I saw you as a sixteen year old girl and imagined what our life will be like in a few short years. 

You will still be my heart.

Maybe you won't feel it and maybe you'll think I am only out to hurt you or ruin your fun and that I have no idea what it's like to be you.  But I will and I do. 

You will always be my heart.

As a three year old, you are sensitive and shy, funny and wonderfully smart.  You are caring and spunky, beautiful and creative.  You love to sing, dance, pretend and read.  Your imagination is vibrant and your personality, colorful. 

Being near you brings me the greatest joy that my heart has ever known.  Your inquisitive mind and big gray eyes are truly something to behold.  Your sweet voice is music to my ears.  I will love you with all of my heart for the rest of my life.

I love you.

Mommy

THANKFUL

Since it would be rude to do so on Facebook, can I just rant for one minute about how much I dislike/dread everyone's THANKFULNESS posts every November? I mean, I know that people have the best intentions and of course it's wonderful that they are THANKFUL, but seriously, having to read through everyone's posts every SINGLE day for 30 DAYS, is exhausting!!! We know, you're THANKFUL for your KIDS and your HUSBAND and your HOUSE and so on and so forth. Keep a journal.

OK, there. THANKFUL that I could get that out.

On a much less RUDE note, your prayers that my kids will sleep has seriously been working MIRACLES. Elle has only woken up ONCE in the middle of the night in the past two weeks and Hadleigh slept for 9.5 hours last night. HALLELUJAH!

Noah had to work his monthly SATURDAY today, so the girl's and I have just been trying to stay busy around the house in his absence. Thankfully, Hadleigh is such an easy baby and naps like a champ, so that gives Elle and I some time alone during most of the morning. I can enjoy a (few) cups of coffee and we can play outside while the weather is still cool. The girl LOVES to swing, so we usually spend quite a bit of time doing that as well.

Heather and Drew are in town, so we will be heading out to Carol's house when Noah gets off work to celebrate an early CHRISTMAS with them. I have really been trying to get in the HOLIDAY spirit, but since it is still 80 degress outside, it has been difficult to really get in the mood.

I will try to remember to bring my camera out to Carol's tonight and will post some pictures, since technically, it will be BABY'S FIRST CHRISTMAS!

(Did me writing in CAPS make any of you want to RANT!!?)

Halloween 2012

I hope you noticed that I did at least update my blog picture, even though it is totally off center and is driving me nuts.  I have been trying to figure out how to fix it for at least 15 minutes, which is truly a waste of my time at this point, so I've decided to leave it alone and tackle that project another day.

Sweet Hadleigh is sleeping and Elle is watching Alice in Wonderland while eating a piece of her Halloween candy from last night.  I'm on my third cup of coffee, so I can't really admonish Elle for having candy this early in the morning - haha!

Hadleigh has slept for 8 hours straight the last three nights, which has been great!  I truly prepared myself for (another) baby that didn't sleep more than a couple hours at a time for at least the first six months, since that's how Elle was, but it has been such a welcomed blessing that Hadleigh SLEEPS!  Thank you, Lord!  She truly is the absolute sweetest baby and has the best disposition.  I am so thankful to have two of the sweetest little girls.

I must admit that I read back over a few of my last blog posts and the one about my miscarriage made me tear up - just remembering the pain and loss was very hard.  It also made me incredibly sad that I did not blog for almost a year.  I really have missed so much of Elle going from two to three.  It has been such a fun age and I'm sad that I didn't write a lot of it down.  I have at least written some of her big "accomplishments" down in her baby book, like counting to 10 for the first time, saying her first Bible verse, saying the ABC's, and learning to write her name. 

On a happy note, here are a few pictures from our play group Halloween party last week and a few of the girls going trick-or-treating.  Elle loved going up to the door to request candy and it was a beautiful night to be out.

9 Weeks

So, I know that since it's been awhile since I've blogged that I need to update all the pictures and such on here, but the truth is, I know it's going to take me awhile, so I'll just add that to the long list of other things I need to do.

Elle goes to preschool on Tuesday's, so I've decided that will be the day each week that I will try to find a few minutes to update my blog.  I have been bad about writing in Hadleigh's baby book already, so I really do need to record some of her "accomplishments" here!

Hadleigh is 9 weeks old.

I think she has finally hit the alert/awake stage.  For the first two months, she was really a very calm, quiet baby and still slept most of the day/night.  She is still a very mellow baby, but isn't quite as easy to get to nap and doesn't want to sit still for too long. 

She is still sleeping in the pack n play in our room - I swore our next baby wouldn't be in our room for very long, but at this point she still is.  She usually goes to bed around the time that Noah and I do, which is between 10-11 PM and she will do one long stretch that ranges from 5-7 hours.  After that she is usually up every 2-3 hours. 

She is really starting to work on holding her head up, but isn't quite there yet.  I must say, that is one milestone I am ready to get to.  I think it will make things so much easier, because right now it pretty much requires two hands to hold her, which isn't a luxury that's easy to come by with Elle around.

She has started smiling so much more this week and it is so precious.  She especially loves it when Elle talks to her (which also means she is right up in her face).  She is starting to coo a little more too and we are anxiously awaiting that first little giggle.

She is in size 1 diapers, size 0-3 month clothing, and weighed 10 lbs 13 oz and was 23" at her 2 month appointment last week.  She had to have three shots and was definitely not feeling well after having them.  She never did run a fever though, so we were thankful for that.  She was back to her happy self by the next morning.

She is still the absolute light of Elle's life.  She is the sweetest, most attentive big sister.  If she hears Hadleigh start to fuss, she will immediately go over to her and either give her her paci or find a toy for her.  It warms my heart!

I will upload picture soon!

Our Newest Addition

On Friday, August 17, 2012, we welcomed the newest member of our family into the world.  Hadleigh Kate Stavlo was born at 3:51 AM and she weighed 5 lb 10 oz and was 19.25 inches long. 

Here is her birth story.

I had a feeling throughout the last few weeks of my pregnancy that the baby was going to come early, which of course made me fear that indeed she would be right on time, or even worse, late.  Elle was born 10 days early, so I naturally was hopeful that her sister would do me the same favor and join us sooner rather than later.  And in almost identical fashion, Hadleigh decided it was time for us to meet her.

On Thursday, August 16th, at around 10:00 PM, my water broke.  I had been out at my parents house all day with Elle and arrived home around 8:00 PM.  Noah has gone out for dinner and drinks with Justin since I wasn't home to cook dinner.  He arrived home around 9:45 PM and was on the phone with his Mom when I realized my water had just broken.  I was patiently waiting for his conversation to end and when in the 30 seconds I allowed him, it didn't, I decided to sweetly ask him to GET OFF THE PHONE because I was pretty sure we needed to pack our bags and head to the hospital.

I called Kellie and my parents to let them know the news and everyone immediately headed over to our house.  My Dad and Riley stayed behind with Elle, and Kellie, my Mom, Noah and I headed to L&D.  We arrived at the hospital around midnight and they sent me back to Triage to confirm my water had broken - which, for the record, no one ever believes you that it did.  Also, for the record, you know!  So after an hour or two in Triage, they confimed my water had indeed broken and sent me back to a room.  I had been hoping to attemp a VBAC, but found out once I got to a room that my OB only gives her patients six hours from the time of your water breaking to being at, or well on your way, to 10 CM.  Since it had been over four hours since my water had broken and I had not progressed past the 3 CM I had been since 36 weeks and wasn't even having contractions, Noah and I made the decision to go ahead with a c-section. 

I was worried that the epidural would hurt more than it did with Elle since I had been in active labor with her when I got it, and compared to the horrendous contractions I was having, it was the best thing I could have imagined.  But, thankfully, it was just as easy the second time.  So, within an hour, they were wheeling me back to the OR and we would soon meet our little girl.  I must say though, that even though the epidural was no big deal the second time around, my second c-section was very creepy.  With Elle, I had no idea what exactly it was they were doing the whole time, and since then I have been told by my friends exactly what happens on that OR table and it was very strange to know what was going on.  I prefer the head-in-the-sand method apparently.

But, at 3:51 AM, I heard Hadleigh cry for the first time and it was such a precious sound.  There really is nothing like it.  That first cry when your baby takes air into it's lungs for the very first time, is absolutely magical and there are no words to describe it.  Noah confirmed what we had been expecting, dark brown hair just like her sister had when she was born.  The nurses kept commenting on how tiny she was and after a minute or two I heard that she weighed in at only 5 pounds and 10 ounces.  Noah placed her on my chest and the tears could not be stopped.  I think I was crying so much that one of the nurses finally asked me if they were happy tears or if something else was going on.  Yes, of course they were happy tears!!!

I was taken up to a room and our family came up shortly after.  I felt one hundred times better and more alert that I did after my first c-section and it was so great being able to feel fully present and enjoy watching everyone hold Hadleigh for the first time.  My Dad brought Elle up to the hospital a few hours later and it was such a sweet time seeing her meet her baby sister.  She didn't really know what to think at first and was a little shy since all eyes were on her, but she loved to hold her and kiss her on the head.

For the next four days, Noah and I enjoyed our stay at the hospital with our sweet little girl.  I was in heaven ordering food when I wanted, watching movies, and doing as much skin to skin with my baby as I possibly could.  We brought Hadleigh home on Tuesday and started our new life as a family of four.  Things have gone really well in the transition and thankfully Hadleigh is a very easy baby.  She very rarely fusses and is doing 5-6 hour stretches at night, which has been a nice surprise since Elle slept in 45 minute increments for what felt like months.

There is so much more that I could write about, but I have already been sitting here for almost an hour, and the truth is, I have a lot to do!  I will try to be more diligent about updating my blog, but I can't promise anything.  Apparently I'm a fast reader but a very slow writer.

Hadleigh Kate, you are the sweetest baby and your Daddy, big sister and I all adore you.

Loss.

So instead of writing up a post about how excited we are to be expecting another baby, I am left to write up a post about the loss of one.

We found out on Tuesday, that the sweet baby we were set to welcome on March 22, 2012, was no longer growing and no longer had a heartbeat. The loud, reassuring heartbeat that Noah and I had heard at both 7 and 8 weeks was no longer detectable. What loss. What sadness.

Although I know that I am surely not the first, nor the last person to suffer through a miscarriage, it all feels new to me. The last few days have been a rollercoaster of emotions.

Since it took longer to get pregnant this time than it did with Elle, I was ecstatic when I saw the two pale pink lines show up on the home pregnancy test that I took several months ago. I immediately crumpled into a heap on the bathroom floor sobbing my thanks to God. Finally!

But, this baby was not meant to be welcomed into our arms. God has a different plan for our family. We rest assured that He is in control and that He has a plan and a purpose for our lives. And so we wait. We wait for His comfort, we wait to figure out what the next step is and where we are to go in the midst of this inconceivable loss.

The little things that change are the moments that have caught me most off guard. Placing my week-to-week pregnancy book back on the dining room bookshelf, deleting my next OB appointment out of the calendar on my phone, taking the first sonogram pictures off of the refrigerator, and trying to explain to a two-year old that she isn't going to be a big sister... not yet.

But, our God is faithful. We have felt the prayers of so many of our friends and family who have interceded on our behalf, and for that we are forever grateful.

"For I know the plans I have for you, "declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

Easter Bunnies & Birthday Cakes

April is over and May is on it's way out as well and I still haven't found the time to post any Easter or Birthday pictures of Elle. She absolutely loved Easter this year and was so excited to dye eggs and then hunt for them (we read the Easter story many, many times as well!)

We had a family party for Elle this year since we did a big bash last year. It was so much more realxing for me and I don't think Elle noticed that none of her friends were there since she was surrounded by all of her family. We were so blessed that everyone was able to make it - and that everyone came even though it was on Mother's Day. I think we will probably do a friends party next year for her third birthday, because by then she will actually have a better idea of what's going on and will enjoy having her friends there. We have already started receiving birthday invitations for all of her friends since they all have summer birthday's - so fun!

Elle, here is what you are up to at 24 months.

You love to play outside in your new sandbox and also in your swing. The "squitos" are out now though, so we don't get to stay out very long because they love your sweet baby blood! You love to mimick Mommy and Daddy and slap at your legs when you think a "squito" is on you - it's really cute!

Your vocabulary is continuing to grow each day. You say some of the funniest and sweetest things at this age. My favorite is still "oh my gosh" because you say it was such sass! Yesterday you went up to Grayer after not seeing him for a few days, grabbed his chubby cheeks and said "Grayer, I missed you!" It was precious! You said the same thing to me this morning when I got you up - ha!

You have been having a lot of tantrums lately and I think the terrible two's are officially here. I heard from our pediatrician that the terrible two's usually happen before you actually turn two, but I think you saved it up! We are working on obeying and also not throwing tantrums every time you don't get your way. You are pretty bossy (not sure where you get that from?) and expect to get your way all of the time, so we spend a lot of time talking about being "nice" and "kind".

You have been using the potty for a few months now, but not always consistently. You are always so proud of yourself and always clap and say "yay!" every time you go!

You have been paci-free (except for bedtime) for almost two weeks. You have done so much better than I thought you would and your Daddy and I are so proud of you! You still ask for it on occasion, but it usually doesn't turn into a big issue.

You love to watch Elmo, Sesame Street and Veggie Tales. You are allowed to watch one show in the morning after your breakfast and we let you pick it out. You usually get through about 3/4 of the show you chose and then try to say you've changed your mind and want to watch a different one - sneaky, but it usually doesn't work!

Your appetite has improved a lot over the last few weeks, which seems to be how it goes with you. For a couple of weeks you won't eat anything and then after that you will eat everything on your plate. I prefer the latter.

You did awesome at your 2 year doctor's appointment last week. Dr. Sue was so impressed with how good you were and you didn't even flinch when the nurse gave you a shot! We don't have to take you back until you're three, which seems crazy after taking you so often for the first two years. I can't say I'll miss it though!

You love to play with your Elmo and Bob the Tomato toys. "The boys" (that's what you call them) have been going with us everywhere lately, even to the park where you love to push them in the swing and send them down the slide. You have always been very maternal and it's sweet to see you play with your babies.

You are at such a fun and, at times, difficult age, but we are so thrilled that you are growing into a precious little girl. You are very sweet and sensitive and you bless us every day. We love you sweet girl.

22 Months

Elle is 22 months old today and is changing into a little girl more and more each day.

Elle, here is what you are up to.

Your vocabulary is really expanding, albeit sometimes we can't exactly understand what it is you're saying. Sometimes you think it is so funny to just ramble off a bunch of gibberish just because you always get such a laugh out of us. Your favorite thing to say to me lately is, "Mommy, help me?" It is so cute, and I of course, always stop to offer my assistance whenever you ask me so sweetly.


Before we had you, your Daddy and I always talked about how cute it would be to hear you say "hold you", instead of "hold me" whenever you wanted sometime to pick you up (Kiki and I used to say the same thing). You are now giving us such joy, because you are always saying "hold you" or "rock you".

Your new favorite, favorite thing to do is play on Mommy's iPhone. I finally got smart and downloaded a bunch of apps just for you, so now you have an entire page of fun things to play with. That usually keeps you away from calling or texting people, but I still have to keep a pretty close eye on you.

You have an obsession with ELMO. You love him! You want to watch his movies, read his books, play with his stuffed toy, cell phone, and coloring book. We even had to buy you new "Elmo cups" because you saw some other kids who had them.

We took you on your first camping trip last weekend and you loved it! You love being able to run around and play in the dirt and rocks. You did not sleep well though, so it may be awhile longer before we try that again :)

You still insist that your name is spelled E-E-L.

I've been working on counting with you, but you are not very interested in learning your numbers. I sometimes will count to three if you're about to get in trouble and I'm pretty sure that has been a deterrence in you feeling the need to learn to count - ha!

You love your animal books and are getting really good at recognizing which animal is which. Your new favorite words to say are "octupus" "peacock" and "alligator". Whenever you point to the picture of the bear you say "eat you!" the shark you say "Scary!" and the spider you say "Oh, yuck!"

You say "Golly" ALL THE TIME! It is so cute because it is usually when I'm saying we need to hurry or you shouldn't be doing something.

Your temper tantrums have decreased a lot lately, which has been nice. You seem to really understand the rules, which makes communicating and disciplining you so much easier. You really have such a sweet spirit and I see that more and more every day (could the terrible two cloud be lifting? .... I won't count my chickens just yet!)

Your appetite has been a little better lately. I still spend a lot of time trying to convince you to eat and your Daddy plays a lot of games in order to distract you - but at this point we are both willing to do whatever it takes.

You are a very happy girl! I can't believe you'll be two in just two more months. Slow down!

Update

Elle turned 21 months old last Tuesday. She certainly keeps me on my toes and I rarely have the time to update the blog. Here is a run down of what she's up to.

Elle now repeats everything! Noah thinks it is really funny that when you ask her if she can say something, and you give her an entire sentence to say, that she will only repeat the last word - as in "do you want to go to the park?" and she'll say "park". Or you say, "can you say Timbuktu?" and she'll say "two".

I have really begun to realize how much more a Mom can understand as opposed to other people who aren't around as much. I constantly find myself being the interpreter for her around other people. This morning when Noah was brushing his teeth Elle kept saying "Daddish" and Noah would correct her and say, no, my name's Daddy, not Daddish. I had to tell him she was saying that the toothbrush was "Daddy's", not calling him Daddish :)

My itty, bitty picky eater has hit a major no-eating phase. It is exhausting to say the least. She is ever the drama queen and will almost always "gag" on anything she finds unappetizing. The only foods that are quaranteed to go down her throat are: string cheese, avocado, yogurt, and hummus. We are both currently obsessed with hummus. At this point, I'll let her eat goldfish and oreos just to ensure she is actually ingesting some type of calories. Call me crazy.

Nothing makes Elle more excited than taking a bath or going to the park. If you tell her it is bath time she will immediately start stripping off all her clothes and screaming for joy at the top of her lungs. She is pretty fearless at the park and loves to swing as high as we'll push her and go down the tallest slide a million times. When it's time to go, she will always say "bye-bye park. next time" (Bye-Bye park. See you next time).

The girl loves music and loves to dance.

Elle is obsessed with her Bumbo. We have it set out on the counter so that she can be in on the action while we are preparing her meals. She would prefer to eat her entire meal in her Bumbo, as opposed to her highchair, but she only occasionally gets her wish, since she also likes to rumage through the cabinets while she's up there. The funny thing is, that most babies outgrow their Bumbo's sometime around the age of 6-9 months, but since Elle is such a skinny minny, she still fits in hers!

She still loves to read books and will bring you book after book to read for as long as you can take it. She is currently obsessed with Dr. Suess books and her favorite is Hop on Pop. She will ask you to read "Hop on Pop" a million times a day. We have made several trips to the library lately since they have so many great Dr. Suess options.

Lotion, lotion, lotion. Elle loves to play with any type of lotion! I swear she knows where every tube or bottle of lotion is in our entire house and she will hunt it down if you try to put it out of reach. If she is ever in meltdown mode at the store, all you have to do is hand her a bottle of lotion and she will be set for the next hour - granted, you will have to wipe it off the cart, your purse, and her entire outfit before you can leave the store, but it's worth it, right?

She must have her "pees" (paci) and "binky" (blanket) at all times. Noah is determined to start breaking her of this habit when she turns two, but I can already see myself giving in when her desperation for them is so strong. It's going to be a loooooong road.

This age is so much work and so much fun wrapped into one joyous bubble. I wouldn't change it for the world, even on the days I feel like pouring myself into bed at 7:30 PM when I put her down.

Elle, you have the sweetest spirit and your Daddy and I love you so very much. We cherish every smile and hug you give us. You are truly precious!

Here are a few pictures from the last several months.

Mom, did you seriously draw on my feet?

Daddy is such a goofball!

Helping Daddy make some cookies.

Museum of Nature & Science

Since it has been too cold to take Elle to the zoo or to the park, today we had finally been cooped up too long and needed to get out of the house. I had looked up the Museum of Nature & Science this summer, but thought that it was probably a little too mature for Elle, but I looked into the Children's Museum that they also have in the same building and it seemed like a good fit. I thought we were just going to pay to go for the afternoon, but when I got there I decided to go ahead and get a one year membership. I think it was a good choice because Elle really enjoyed the Children's Museum. There are some really fun things to play with including a water table and sand station (oh my!) Thankfully today there were not many people there, so we were able to exlpore the entire place. We had a good time -- I'll have to bring my camera next time and take a few picture of her.

On a side note, Elle has miraculously been sleeping a little later the past few days, which has been wonderful! I never thought that I would feel LUCKY to sleep in until 6 AM, but hey, I'll count my blessings!

Here are some pictures of Elle at the zoo a few weeks ago.